Get Mad
by whereverwithyou
Summary: Cave goes a little crazy over the loss of one of Aperture's investors, and takes Caroline along for the ride. Literally. (100% Caveline)


A/N: This is only a one-shot in the simplest definition. I wrote it in one go, but I recycled a lot of ideas from an older story that I ended up not liking. Also, since this is the first of my stories that I'm also linking on my tumblr account, I will announce that it is I, intangible-rice. *confetti drops*

Also, since I haven't written much since this whole "cover image" thing started and am still really unfamiliar with it, I just used a screencap as mine, lol (it's of one of the maps in the pump stations that shows the surface as well). Anyway, without further ado...

Get Mad

Caroline flipped through the disorderly pile of papers on her desk with sure fingers, knowing despite the chaos exactly where everything was. As she did so she scribbled notes to herself, making sure thoughts about her next tasks wouldn't get mixed up with the current one, but not forgotten, either. She was jarred from her work momentarily, until she realized that the ringing telephone was coming from her boss's office and not her own. She refocused on the expense reports in front of her, diligently plugging in every profit and loss - the latter more than the former - until finally reaching the end balance for the month.

She paused, trying to suppress the feeling of panic rising up inside her. The math had given her a negative $2,000 balance in the company's bank account. How could that be? She checked over each expenditure again - payroll, lab equipment, lawsuit payouts - it was all there, and she'd made sure to pinch enough pennies over the last few weeks that it all should have been covered. Then she saw it. She'd forgotten to factor in the loss of their United Visionaries science grant. No wonder they were short.

Caroline ran over her options in her head. If she didn't find $2,000 to put in the bank somehow, all of the checks she'd just written would bounce. The results would be cataclysmic - contracts would be dropped, employees would quit... basically it would be the same as what was happening already, but much faster. Caroline frantically flipped back through the expense report. Where was she going to come up with $2,000 by tomorrow? Aperture didn't exactly have any "old friends" anymore who would help them out in a pinch, and securing a new investment would take days, or even weeks.

Caroline sighed. She reached for her purse and took out her personal checkbook. It was the only option to keep the company going, and, as she reminded herself, it wasn't like she had many expenses outside of work. But still she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach as she signed her money away. Things around Aperture were looking dimmer and dimmer each day, and not just because of the low-wattage lightbulbs Cave had installed to cut costs. Caroline wondered how many more times she'd have to do something like this before things turned around. Or if they ever would.

A loud crashing sound from her boss's office followed by a shout of "Dammit!" snapped her out of her ambivalence, however. Caroline jumped to her feet and rushed into the next room.

"What happened?" she asked, seeing Cave's phone in pieces on the floor.

"Bellmer Corp," Cave fumed.

Caroline bent down to pick up the remains of the telephone.

"Called to say they're terminating their investment partnership with us," Cave continued when he'd finally calmed down enough to speak further.

"What?" Caroline asked in surprise. "But they've been with us since..."

"Day one," Cave finished for her. "Twenty goddamn years..." He hastily counted on his fingers. "More'n that, actually. And now they just take our partnership and throw it down the drain!"

Cave picked up a booklet from his desk. When Caroline read the words "Bellmer Corp Investments - Funding Brighter Futures Today!" on the front, and saw her boss reaching into his pocket, she rushed across the room, anticipating his next action.

"Well this is what I think about our partnership, Bellmer," Cave said, flicking his cigarette lighter against the pages of the booklet. Caroline was already standing by with the fire extinguisher by the time he'd tossed the flaming paper into the wastebasket.

Caroline sighed. "I'm sorry, sir," she said sympathetically. She wasn't sure what else she could offer. With the threat of a government investigation looming over their heads, this scenario was becoming practically a weekly occurrence as Aperture's reputation worsened. With the first few, they'd just laughed them off - those idiots didn't know what they were losing, and boy would they be sorry when Aperture's helmet-jetpack takes off and makes millions. Now, however, with new allegations making the papers daily (including that ten people had died in testing the jetpack), it was getting harder and harder to be optimistic.

"Well, see what else you can salvage, I guess," Cave sighed.

Caroline nodded. "Yes sir, Mr. Johnson," she said dutifully. She looked back down at her boss's dejected face before turning to leave, however. "...Is there anything I can do to help, sir?" she asked pointlessly.

Cave shrugged. "Not unless you can change the opinion of the US government. Or maybe find a way to portal into Black Mesa and steal everything they've got." He chuckled at the idea, and Caroline smiled at the fact that he was at least doing that much. "Just do what you can, Caroline," Cave reassured. "That's all I need."

Caroline went back to work, now thoroughly frazzled at the idea of the company functioning without Bellmer Corp's funds. Some project would have to be abandoned entirely, or some hundred jobs cut, or they'd have to go back to replacing the cafeteria food with their own experimental nutrient compounds...

Just as she was about to let her head sink to her desk out of exasperation, the door to her boss's office burst open. Caroline jolted upright, preparing to be grilled about sleeping on the job, even though Cave had never done anything like that to her. But instead, the expression he bore as he waltzed - yes, Caroline realized, _waltzed_ - in, was entirely different from the angry and despondent look she'd seen him harboring not twenty minutes ago. Caroline was speechless as she realized that her boss was smiling.

"C'mon, Caroline, we're going for a drive!" he announced.

"...A drive, sir?" Caroline asked, thoroughly confused.

"Yeah. A business drive, of course," Cave clarified. "We've got some people to meet with."

"What kind of people?" Caroline found herself asking. The strangeness of her boss's behavior had her suddenly imagining all sorts of insane possibilities, like her boss turning to the Mafia, or to Soviet spies.

"I'll explain on the way, now come on!" Cave ordered. "No, wait!" he said instead, turning around mid-stride. "Change into something comfortable first, for the ride. But bring that, too," he said, trying but failing miserably to sound like he wasn't looking at Caroline's dress. "We gotta look professional when we get there," he explained.

"Yes... sir... Mr. Johnson," Caroline said cautiously as her boss disappeared back into his own office. She hated the thought of abandoning her work, especially when it was so crucial, but when comparing between Aperture and Cave Johnson, the latter seemed more likely to fall apart if left unattended. She sighed and turned to head to her quarters.

* * *

"How far away is this meeting, exactly?" Caroline asked again as they walked through Aperture's dusty entrance lobby.

"Plenty of time for questions later, Caroline," Cave assured her. He stopped in front of a vending machine in the hall. "Anything you want for the drive?" he asked. When Caroline didn't answer, he pressed buttons at random.

"Hey, why isn't this working?" Cave asked a security guard standing in the corner.

"You gotta put money in," the guard answered, unamused.

"_Money?_ I'm Cave Johnson!" Cave exclaimed. "It's thanks to me that we have vending machines! Maybe I'll pay for snacks when I stop paying your salary! Huh?"

The guard shrugged, unmoved. "I don't have the key," he said indifferently.

Cave scowled and kept walking. "Probably hasn't been refilled in ten years, anyway," he muttered to Caroline, trying to gloss over the fact that he'd just been bested by a security guard.

Caroline found herself blinking in the harsh late-afternoon sunlight as they stepped out into the parking lot. Working underground wasn't conducive to many things, adaptation to sunlight being one of the most obvious. She was about to ask her boss which car was his, when amidst the gleaming chrome tailfins and bright, pastel paint jobs she spied a rusting old Studebaker. Caroline stifled a remark about how they didn't even make those anymore as they approached the car.

"She ain't pretty to look at, but she'll get us to where we're going," Cave promised as he fished in his pockets for the keys. "At least, I think she will. She's only..." His brows furrowed for a second as he tried to calculate his car's age, before stretching out in an expression of disbelief. "Jesus," he said, offering no further elaboration on the issue. "Well, if she doesn't get us there, we can sell her for scrap. Win-win!" he said, still strangely enthusiastic. He tossed the keys up in the air gleefully before unlocking the doors.

Carline was growing more and more uneasy by the minute at his behavior. She'd offer to drive instead, but she wasn't sure she remembered how. Standing in the bright sun of the parking lot and being uncomfortably aware of the smells of the asphalt, pine trees, and even the air, made her realize just how long it had been since she'd left Aperture.

Cave held the passenger door open for her, and she climbed in. She watched as he walked around to the driver's seat, sat down, and suppressed some curses at the engine for not turning over. After about five rounds of the engine's strained wheezing, it finally, surprisingly, came to life.

"Ha!" Cave said triumphantly. "Told ya she'd run fine." He pulled out of the parking lot and turned towards town, still bearing the happy expression Caroline found so unsettling.

"Does the radio work?" she asked, trying to break the uncomfortable silence. She reached over and turned the dial. A comically high-pitched voice began to blare from the speakers as it crackled to life.

_Oh, tiptoe from the garden  
By the garden of the willooooow tree  
And tiptoe through the tulips with meeeeee_

With a confused look on his face, Cave reached over and shut off the dial. "No, I guess it doesn't," he concluded from whatever they'd just heard.

Caroline stretched out in her seat. She hadn't exactly liked the song herself, but the prospect of sitting in a silent car for Cave-only-knows how long didn't seem too fun, either. She looked at the buildings of the town as they passed through.

"Moe's Hardware is gone," she noted absentmindedly.

"Is it?" Cave asked.

"Yeah," Caroline replied. "That store had been there for as long as I can remember. And wasn't there a market on that corner?"

"I can't remember," Cave answered. "This town's changed so much, I don't know where I am anymore."

Caroline nodded, noting with some surprise how built up everything had gotten, and realizing just how disconnected she'd become with the surface world. It took her a minute to realize that Cave was being literal when he said that he didn't know where he was, after she noticed that they'd passed the same gas station twice. Caroline pointed out a sign for the highway and guided Cave towards it.

They sat in silence again as the sun set and the suburban sprawl finally started to give way to open countryside. Caroline decided to try her earlier question again, hoping that maybe this time she'd get an answer. "So where are we headed to?" she asked.

"Albuquerque," Cave answered.

Caroline half-nodded in response, but caught herself when his words fully processed. "Albuquerque?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Cave answered nonchalantly. "Neither of us've had time for a vacation in years."

"You said this was work related!" Caroline protested.

"It is!" Cave confirmed.

"In Albuquerque?" Caroline asked. Her eyes lit up. "Sir, please don't tell me you're taking that Black Mesa idea to heart..."

"No, no, Caroline, one thing at a time," Cave answered. "Though it is on the way back..."

"WHAT is in Albuquerque?" Caroline asked again, growing more annoyed each minute.

"Bellmer Corp," Cave answered finally.

Caroline let it process in her mind. "Okay... and why are we going to Bellmer Corp?"

"To tell 'em about what a bunch of idiots they are!" Cave smirked. "Not really. We're gonna win 'em back to our side."

"Mr. Johnson, you can't be serious..." Caroline said in disbelief.

"Of course I am!" Cave informed. "Anybody can read about us, everything the government's alleging about so-called 'violations'... of course they're not gonna invest in us. Especially not with this eco-freak movement or whatever it is going on. But if we go to them, they'll hear all the good things about us instead, straight from the horse's mouth," Cave smiled. "How can they say no to that?"

More like the jackass's mouth, Caroline thought privately. "Okay, but shouldn't we try this strategy with a company that's a little closer?" she asked. "Gas money, hotel fare, food... you can't pay for this!"

"I can't pay for anything," Cave answered matter-of-factly. "Might as well go out with a bang."

Caroline was now almost entirely convinced that he'd lost it. "Well what happens to Aperture, then? You told me we were just going to a meeting. Now we'll both be AWOL for a week and no one will be there to run the place!"

"Don't we have that one guy, what's-his-name?" Cave asked. "Greg?"

"That's beside the point!" Caroline argued. "You drag me out here under false pretenses, then tell me we're going all the way to New Mexico, you don't leave any instructions or chain of command in our place..." She struggled to find more things to complain about through her boiling anger. "I don't even have a toothbrush!" she spouted finally.

Cave sighed. "I'm sorry, Caroline," he apologized. His voice was finally starting to sound normal again. "I really am. But I can't let this Bellmer thing go. We deserve better than to just be dropped like that. And I knew you'd think I was crazy if I told you about this. But I need to go, and I need you with me. Sometimes I think you're the only one who still believes in me."

"Is that what this is about?" Caroline asked. She sighed. "There's always gonna be naysayers out there. But it would be a waste of time to focus on them instead of on doing something to shut them up. Something great." She hesitated for a second before deciding to put a hand on her boss's shoulder. Cave, not expecting the action, pulled off to the side of the road for fear of diverting his attention.

"I've seen you do great things so many times, Mr. Johnson," Caroline reminded him. "You've changed the world, whether you realize it or not. Even if Black Mesa's gotten most of the credit for it, you'll know the truth. What's going down to talk to Bellmer going to change about that? Even if you do somehow get them to change their minds, what then? It's not worth going after one company out of a million that think you're nuts."

Cave listened to what his assistant was saying, but instead of answering her, he turned to look up at the stars. "Do you know where I was headed in 1943?" Cave asked.

"...Sir?" Caroline asked. She didn't know much about her boss's life before he started his company, simply because he'd never offered anything.

"The answer is nowhere fast," Cave answered. "There I was, doing my best to sell shower curtains, knowing what a ridiculous legacy being the best at that was gonna leave. Then I get drafted - suddenly I'm heading nowhere a lot faster, but at least I might've gotten my name put on a plaque somewhere if I bit it in the name of freedom."

Cave stretched out in his seat as he fell into his story. "When I got to boot camp, I realized I wasn't as hot as I thought I was back on the high school football field. Within a few weeks I was in the infirmary with a twisted ankle," he chuckled. "But it's a damn good thing I was, because the man in the cot next to me was Dan Bellmer."

Caroline swallowed. She realized that Cave hadn't been lying when he'd said that Bellmer Corp had been there since day one.

"Now, he wasn't supposed to discuss any of that weaponry stuff with an ordinary soldier - top secret, y'know. But Dan was easy to get talking. Especially once I offered my own ideas," Cave recalled. "I never went back to basic training. Instead, I moved up to the defense program."

Caroline smiled as her boss told the story, but it was a melancholy sort of smile. No matter how many years of exciting ups the story was going to have, she knew exactly how it would end.

"Everyone else looked at Dan like he was nuts. You take a room full of the smartest scientists in the country, and tell them their new partner is some wise-ass salesman who's never even been to college?" Cave scoffed. "But Dan said, 'Just wait," and then after the risk paid off, 'I'd like to see any of you come up with an idea half as good as one of his.'" Cave smiled proudly. "Up until I proved 'em all wrong, they thought I was nuts, too. Dan used to call me Crazy Cave. Even years after the war, he'd read about something Aperture had done and call me up - 'Crazy Cave's done it again!'" Cave laughed, but his amusement was already starting to fade. "It was a joke then. But I guess that's what I am now."

"Mr. Johnson, I'm so sorry," Caroline offered. It was one thing to be rejected by a business partner, but quite another when it was a friend. Suddenly his drive to the desert was a lot more understandable, even if it was still foolish.

"I would've never turned Aperture into a science company without Dan's help," Cave lamented.

"I know," Caroline said. "But do you really want to go crawling back to him? It won't change his mind. It'll just make him think even worse of you."

Cave sighed. "I know. I don't know what I was thinking."

"The same thing anyone in your situation would be thinking," Caroline offered. She realized, despite her earlier outrage, that maybe she wasn't so different. "Heck, back when Billy Flinkman wouldn't go to the prom with me, I wanted to burn his house down."

Cave laughed. "You wanted to go to the prom with someone named Billy Flinkman?"

"And you sold shower curtains," Caroline reminded. "See, this company's been good for both of us."

Cave smiled. He realized that Caroline's hand still lingered on his arm, and placed his own hand appreciatively over it. "What would I do without you, Caroline?" he asked.

"Well, you'd probably be about 15 miles closer to New Mexico with no way to pay for gas when you run out."

Cave laughed. Caroline felt him give her hand a small squeeze, and found herself wanting to just sit there and keep smiling and joking with him. It was something they hadn't done in years. But she knew it was her job to be the voice of reason. If she didn't tell him to, Cave would never get any work done, other than driving himself off to get stranded in the desert somewhere with the idea that it was somehow for the benefit of the company. She pulled her hand away.

"Why don't we go back to doing science now, sir?" she offered.

Cave turned the key in the ignition again, and waited through its sputtering for it to rev to life. "Tomorrow," he answered her, turning the car around. "Right now, I feel like I at least owe you a drink for attempting to kidnap you." Caroline laughed, secretly grateful of her boss's suggestion.

"I know a great place," Cave continued. "If it's still there, that is." He turned on the radio again, hoping to erase the previous bad experience they'd had with it.

_In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey  
Don't you know that I love you  
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby  
Don't you know that I'll always be true_

Cave switched it off again. "Jesus, what the hell is passing for music these days?"

Caroline merely chuckled at her boss's remark. A few years ago, she might've joked about him being too old to understand what the kids were into. But, as she knew all too well from the gray hairs which were appearing more and more amidst her dramatic black, she wasn't so young herself anymore.

They parked outside a bar on the edge of town, and were soon sitting with drinks in hand at a table offering already picked-over peanuts, while a jukebox in the corner played what was probably the fifth song in a row about peace and love and whatever else. The CEO and his assistant laughed openly, eager to forget the crazy journey they'd almost just undertaken.

"Y'know, I don't understand how it doesn't get to you, Caroline," Cave mused. "All these setbacks, no one taking us seriously..."

"I just try to focus on the science, sir," Caroline answered.

"Enough with the 'sir,'" Cave implored, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. "We're about as far away from a work environment as we're gonna get. Call me Cave."

"Yes, sir," Caroline answered before realizing what she'd said.

Cave laughed. "Sometimes I think there's not an unprofessional bone in your body," he joked. "When was the last time you went out?"

Caroline blushed, trying to hide her embarrassment as she realized the answer to the question. "Probably not since Billy Flinkman didn't ask me to prom."

"Oh," was all Cave could think to answer. They were both silent for a minute. "Well, hell," he realized. "You might've sacrificed more for this job than me."

Caroline shook her head, but it was less out of disagreement than from a desire for him to stop dwelling on it. "I have not," she answered.

"I dunno," Cave persisted. "If not for the company, you could be here with Billy Flinkman tonight."

Caroline rolled her eyes at her boss. "Billy Flinkman was too much of a party pooper and a mama's boy to ever come out to a place like this." She finished her drink in one gulp. "And I DO have non-professional bones in my body," she declared.

"Oh yeah?" Cave teased. "Prove it."

Caroline smirked and pointed her finger at him, as if to say 'watch this.' She sauntered over to the jukebox. After a few moments, a sparse drumbeat emitted from the speakers, followed by hand claps and a man humming.

"See? You can still find good music some places," Caroline said triumphantly. She began to subtly swivel her hips back and forth in time, and soon followed with a shuffling of the feet which, though clumsy, was entirely entrancing to Cave.

_Little bitty pretty one  
Come on and talk to me  
Lovey dovey lovely one  
Come sit on my knee_

Caroline swayed in time to the music for a few more bars before noticing her boss's expression. "Is letting you watch me dance one of my job requirements now?" she smirked.

"It's not a requirement," Cave answered, sipping his drink. "But it's certainly a nice perk."

"Oh, Mr. Johnson!" Caroline laughed. "Sorry," she corrected herself. "Cave."

"Much better," Cave commented. He went to take another sip from his drink, but found that his assistant had taken it from his hand.

"Put that down," she instructed.

"Why?" Cave asked. Caroline took his hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Because I shouldn't be the only one enjoying this."

"Caroline, this isn't really the type of music I dance to..." Cave protested, though he was already moving his feet along with hers.

"What, you'd prefer one of those boring waltzes they used to play at those black-tie science galas?" Caroline asked. She noticed her boss's expression change at the remembrance that they were actually invited to those things once.

"Oh, screw them, Cave!" Caroline said, the alcohol making her advice bolder. "I don't remember anything half as fun as this at any of those parties."

Cave laughed at his secretary's words. He found himself wondering why it wasn't like this between them more often.

"It really doesn't bother you?" he asked again. "That we gave up so much, just to get laughed at?"

Caroline shook her head. She was about to give him another speech like she had in the car - albeit a more animated and unfiltered version - about how science was a calling that transcended everyday concerns, and how they had to take each setback in stride and just keep working, when her eyes caught something on the wall behind Cave.

Her feet stopped dancing abruptly. So abruptly, in fact, that Cave almost tripped over them. He started to laugh at her for her clumsiness, until he noticed the shocked and pained expression on her face.

"Caroline?" he asked. "What is it?" He turned around to see what his assistant was staring at. On the wall behind him, a small piece of white 8.5x11" paper hung inconspicuously. A header proclaimed in large black letters: HAVE YOU SEEN OUR DAUGHTER? Underneath the photo was a brief description, stating that she'd last been seen on 11/5/1954, and contact information. It took Cave a minute to realize that the girl smiling back at him from the picture was a younger version of the one standing at his side.

"Caroline..." he said again, not sure what else to say.

His assistant was frozen. Her position in the company had been classified for years, so that anyone who called to inquire about her would have been told that no one by that name existed at Aperture. It was a standard procedure in place for several important employees, and Caroline had never thought twice about it. She and her parents had never been particularly close, anyway, so it shouldn't have mattered. But, to her amazement, this flyer was recent. They had not only looked for her, but were _still_ looking for her, almost fifteen years later.

Something was building inside her. At first she thought it was sadness, but that didn't fit, exactly. She told herself to shrug it off. They'd already been thinking she was gone for this long. Continuing that wouldn't be any harder. And, as the voice of reason reminded her, it was best for science that she stay disconnected. Dispassionate. Dead.

Her fist clenched, and suddenly she realized that the emotion she was feeling was anger. She was tired of being the voice of reason. Tired of brushing off every emotion, every slight, every setback, and telling herself it was best for science. She wanted to get mad.

"Cave," she said confidently.

"What?" Cave asked. Caroline turned to face him, her eyes displaying a fire he'd never seen before.

"Let's go kick Dan Bellmer's ass."

* * *

Cave and Caroline hurled insults for the entire duration of their security-escorted walk back out to the parking lot, knowing it wouldn't make a single bit of difference, but living off the feeling of getting it all out anyway.

"There's more where that came from, Bellmer!" Cave shouted.

"Yeah!" Caroline agreed loudly.

"Ya backstabbin' coward!" Cave added for good measure as the annoyed guard closed the gate on them.

Cave and Caroline remained as dignified as possible as they walked back to their car, shooting evil eyes at whatever employees were outside to witness the spectacle. As soon as they'd sat down in the car and closed the door, however, their composure dissolved into fits of laughter.

The two of them gasped for breath, unable to speak for several minutes.

"I can't believe we just did that," Cave managed finally.

"I'm sorry I doubted you, sir," Caroline said. "That _was _a good idea."

Cave smiled at her fondly. Caroline's own smile faded after a second as she realized he wasn't going to say anything else.

"Sir?" she asked, taken off guard. "Is everything okay?"

Before she could ask another stupid question, Cave leaned over and kissed her.

Caroline was speechless as her boss pulled his lips away from hers.

"Now," he began, grinning widely, "Why don't we go back to doing some science?"

Caroline could feel her cheeks flush as she smiled in return. "Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson," she answered.

Cave winked at her as he put the key in the ignition. He turned it and listened to the engine sputter. After relaxing it, he tried again. And again. And again. And again. Finally he broke out in another fit of laughter.

"What is it?" Caroline asked.

"Do you think Bellmer would mind me using his phone to call for a tow?" Cave asked her.

THE END


End file.
